And so, as we become increasingly more irrelevant, I thought I'd turn to our friends and former enemies, the Russians, who experienced the collapse of their Soviet Union on the heels of their tragic failure to conquer Stone Age Afghanistan a mere two decades before us; to borrow from them some of the wonderful humor of our nascent Russian family members who were still able to laugh despite their impending doom.
What follows are a few old Russian jokes I've taken the liberty of modifying for current American relevance (or, as previously noted, irrelevance?). With apologies if they're not as funny as the joke the United States is becoming globally. Transitions such as we are undergoing can make humor a wee bit difficult. But it's important, I believe, we retain a sense of it much as our Russian brothers and sisters during their demise.
~~~~~~~~Here, then, they are:
How do you relate to the government in Washington?
Like a wife: part habit, part fear and wish to God I had a different one.
Two Gulf Coast citizens meet while strolling on a tar-balled beach.
'Do you read the papers?'
'Of course! How else would I know?'
What sort of a job should you take, so as never to be unemployed?
Climb up on the Statue of Liberty and watch for its return.
In 2008 a man ran through the streets of Washington shouting: 'Cheney is a swine!' He was seized and given twenty-one years: one year for defamation, and twenty years for leaking state secrets.
Okay, so it's typical Russian humor born of their historical flirtations with seemingly endless pessimism. Finding the humor in it is their talent.